just_muse_me | 11.2.2. Overcoming the hardships

11.2.2. What's the hardest thing in your life you've had to overcome?

I could answer any number of things to this, but one thing always comes leaps and bounds above the rest. For a good year following my accident, I was deluded. Totally blind and unwavering delusion consumed me to the point that I set myself on a whole wrong path and inevitably end up hitting a dead-end brick wall at the end of it… when I tried to take my own life.

I know. What was I fucking thinking, right? Truth is, I wasn’t thinking. All thoughts stopped when I sat on the back of that boat in the waters of Mexico. Tim and Lyla were trying to run an intervention on me about the questionable operation I was determined to have to make me walk again and I just didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want that painful truth breaking through my bubble of delusion. The operation was dicey and I knew that, but my mind was such a confused place by that time that it seemed like risking my life for the chance to walk again was worth it. More than worth it. What was the hardest thing I’ve had to ever overcome? The delusion. Letting that penny drop that I really was going to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair and I could like it or let it kill me.

( First it was a flash of anger... )

Word Count | 617

muse_shuffle | December Greatest Hits

Track 10. Everything is good for you if it doesn't kill you
(Crowded House – ‘Everything is Good for You’)

[Follows THIS]

Jason shoved some of Noah’s clothing back into his baby bag with probably more force than was needed. It was supposed to be his day with his son, but Erin had called with some lame excuse about her parents wanting to see the baby and them not having any other time this week. She was always changing the rules and he was fast getting pissed off with it. He was just as much Noah’s parent as she was and just because he didn’t live with him, he had to bow to whatever she wanted at the drop of the hat. Seemed the honeymoon period was over. He just didn’t know what he was supposed to do next or how he could foresee this continuing to work like this.

Noah was already strapped into his baby capsule waiting for Erin to arrive and Jason paused, letting out a heavy breath. Thoughts inevitably turned to JC as he watched his son sleeping a short distance away. He felt a tiny niggle of guilt about the one night stand. Noah had been the product of his last experience with one of those and that had turned out like, well, this. He was hundreds of miles away from home, from his family and friends, in a town he didn’t like and working a job that just irritated him. He hardly ever saw his son and when he did, it was on Erin’s terms. At least he damn well wore a condom this time.

( But JC wasn’t like Erin. Not in any way... )

JC is taste4freedom and referenced with permission


Word Count | 717

just_muse_me | 11.6.6. TEN New Years Resolutions

11.6.6. TEN New Years Resolutions

1. To not do any more memes
2. To get out more
3. To be a good dad, even if I hardly see my son
4. To try haggis
5. To visit home at least once every few months
6. To reply to all of Lyla's emails so she stops getting pissed off
7. To work on getting more mobilty in my hand
8. To find a job I like
9. To stop Herc filling my inbox with porn
10. World peace?

I doubt I'll keep any of these...